Change is good - the eagle does it in six months

I’ve often wondered what my life would’ve been like if my parents hadn’t divorced when I was 13. I know it would’ve been different, but in what ways? As much as I hated their break-up, I believe it truly was one of the best things that could've happened to me.

With all due respect to my Mother and Father, now both deceased God Bless them, they were not the most mature people when they decided to call it quits, and that hurt. A lot. It was hard for a 13 year old girl to find any solace in a father who verbally abused me by telling me horrible things about my mother, and then tried to shove his new girlfriend in my face before disappearing with his new girlfriend and their new baby to....somewhere in South Florida. Nor was it any comfort to know that when my mother finally found my father, she had him arrested for non-payment of child support. Was that before or after my eight year old brother went through the sliding glass doors, slicing his abdomen open, and we couldn't find Mom because she was off for the weekend with her boyfriend. Well, those events were just the beginning of a long and painful journey through my teens that may have sent many young girls to the "wrong side of town." I may have strayed a bit, may have even knocked on the gates of Hell, but it had to have been Guardian Angels protecting me, because I spent the best part of my teen and young adult years trying to make sense of it all….and it was all because I loved my Mother, and I loved my Father - as much as I loved life itself.

The Lord gives us trials to refine us. It is not the trials that build our character, but how we handle those trials, and I thank HIM for loving me enough to hold my hand and my heart while I sorted through my crazy mixed up emotions during those years. HE sent people into my life that I was able to look up to, talk to, learn from, and feel safe with. They were mentors in every sense, and the security I developed gave me a strong sense of inner peace and integrity that carried me into middle age, and served me most when I really needed it.

This all brings me back to the original question I have asked of myself many times: “What happens when you don't have challenges, trials, and tribulations to develop your character?” Can anyone truly go through their life with a content smile at all times, with no worries, no heart-ache, and no trouble? Is there any such thing? I don't believe so. We all have to face the devil sooner or later, and we all have trials. Some of us may have more trials than others, or so it seems, but we all have them, none-the-less.

When you are faced with a life issue that upsets your world, please do everything in your power to deal with it. Don't ask, "why me?" Don't blame others for your trials, don't self-medicate, or bury yourself in work to escape….. And PLEASE don't let any medical doctor get you hooked on prescription drugs for depression and/or anxiety.

My Mother really was a wonderful person, an inspiration, and beautiful role model for me. I grew to respect her immensely for all of her adversity, and I forgave her many years ago for some indisgressions she had. She's only human. One of the things she taught me was to never stop believing, and always strive for my dreams. I knew she was proud of me and in some unexplainable way, I think she may have been a little envious because I did pursue my dreams, where she only had good intentions. She also taught me to tell the truth, and had an uncanny ability to stop me from lying because I didn't want to upset her if she ever found out I had lied. So, I rarely did anything that I thought she'd disapprove of. And yes, the two times I remember lying to her, she found out.

My father also had good intentions, but didn't have the strength to carry through with them. Somewhere along the line of his early childhood or early adulthood, he had been shattered enough times that he gave up trying to pursue his dreams and just settled for what came along. Sad but true. But Dad is in Heaven now and amongst his loved ones who had passed before, and I know all is well for him. My Father instilled in me a strong work ethic. “When are you going to stop working Dad?” I asked him when he was pushing 75 years of age. “When they close the casket”, was his response. I want to thank Dad for going to adult Bible class with me - a grown woman with a grandson - the year before he went into assisted living, and two years before he died. Dad was in his 80's, the oldest one in our class, and he raised his hand many times to ask questions. He became very popular in that class, and I was SO proud of him. When he asked a question the Pastor couldn't answer, Pastor Arp replied, "George, I just don’t know. You’re going to have to put that question in your JESUS pocket, and when you get to the Pearly Gates, you can pull it out then."

Having been at the gateway of Hell, I can tell you it was really hard to swim up-stream to surface again. I attribute the ability to discern the difference between right and wrong and the strength to do something about it to my life experiences. Here is why I think Change is Good, and why I suggest that you embrace, not curse, your trials. Here is what I’ve learned:

• Take care of your health, both physically and spiritually so you can have the energy and ambition to pursue your dreams;
• Finish what you start so you have the joy of accomplishment;
• Think happy thoughts;
• Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Don't be suspicious - just cautious and careful;
• Forgive those who have wronged you, let by-gones be by-gones and don't live in the past;
• Be kind and generous;
• Eat well, be happy, don't drink excessively, don't smoke (anything), do cardio and strength training or some kind of exercise, and sleep 7-8 hours every night.

It sounds so simple and it truly is.

Love joins our present with the past and the future.

Think about it. If you have both of your feet planted in mid-air, as I often do, try to ground yourself once in awhile. Link your past with your future while you're in the present, and think about God's Love when you do. The world really is better when looking at it through rose-colored glasses, and if you feel bitter or resentful, you have excess baggage that needs to be cleared. That's your first step, and whether it takes 6 months to change such as the eagle, or six years or longer, make that change. Do it, and you can start right now.

Our Subtle Mind

Meeting Aesclepius – Our Subtle Mind

The wise ones tell us that in the beginning stage of contemplative practice, the mind seems like a waterfall. Its noise seems louder as we go inward. Nothing has ever changed, except for our attention to the mind. With practice, the mind becomes like a rushing mountain stream, agitated, but not as noisy as a waterfall. Gradually, it becomes like a lazy river, flowing through the flat plains, easy and quiet. In the final stages, it becomes like a river, reunited with the still, deep, and stable ocean.

In any single practice session, you may go through each of these phases, the untamed mind, the increasing stillness of the witnessing mind, calm-abiding, and/or unity consciousness, or you may only encounter one.

If you can find a skilled teacher to be your guide, you will be quite fortunate. Such a person can look in your eyes, listen to your experience, and help you with any problems. A skillful teacher is one that has practiced and studied for many years within a tradition that aims for inner freedom, rather than mere relaxation.

We will use visualization to access our inner healer that is found at the source of our being. That wise healer who resides within each of us will help guide us through the integral process. The ancient Greeks call this inner healer, Aesclepius. We will call it our subtle mind.

Find a comfortable seat, close your eyes, and visualize an image of a very wise loving man or woman. Choose an individual alive or passed on whom you respect and honor, and whom you feel a sense of connection. If identifying such a person is difficult, then create one. Stabilize this image in front of you and carefully observe this individual.

As a result our consciousness expands and we cultivate a special wisdom. Loving kindness and wisdom are the results of these two practices and are the two essential elements that bring an end to needless suffering and reveal the fruits of human flourishing, an authentic and enduring health, happiness and wholeness.

I have chosen my mother, who has passed on 18 years ago but I still feel a special connection. I see her bright eyes and warm smile and the wrinkles on her face have long gone. Her skin is smooth, clear and beautiful, and so is her hair.

I sit in communion with her and reflect on her qualities and characteristics, her peace, wisdom, compassion, love and joy. As I allow our connection to deepen, I visualize the beam of white light from her crown and visualize it coming into my mind. This light and energy bathes and purifies my thoughts and feelings, and images I have are slowly transforming my mind into the still, pure and wise mind of my mother.

Another beam of light emanates from my mother's throat and bathes and purifies my speech. My speech becomes loving, wise and sensitive.

A beam of light emerges from her heart and it bathes and purifies my heart with kindness, love and compassion, transforming it into a heart of loving-kindness and wisdom.

As I experience my purified mind, speech and heart, I take on the qualities of the wise one and I become her.

I allow her entire image to dissolve into a bright white light and enter my body at my forehead and slowly permeate my entire being so that I fully become this wise person.

What does this feel like? What is it like to experience this wise guidance and healing of my inner healer? I accept and experience myself as a wise and loving healer in mind, speech and heart. Who is this wise and caring person I first imaged outside myself? Where has she been? It is now time to welcome her home. It is now time to know the healing God, Aesclepius is none other than the natural essence of my heart and mind.

This inner essence is a guide, healer, and gift giver. It guides my choices and actions from a deep wisdom. It heals my body, mind and spirit by eradicating the misunderstandings, confusion, and sense of isolation that are the underlying causes of mental distress and stress related illnesses. It gives the gift of profound and enduring health, happiness and wholeness. This essence is my inner guide, healer, and gift giver.

As Integral healers, we must experience this inner essence if we are to lead others there. We must have Mindfulness in our work, which focuses on mindfulness practice to reduce stress, increase work satisfaction, and help others attain this level of calm-abiding. Any healthcare professional must become a healer integrally because it is a critical component of wellness.

Dacher, E (2006). The Path to Human Flourishing, Contemplative Practices: An Audio Companion to Integral Health. Basic Health Publications, Laguna Beach, CA.

The Subtle Mind

This is Part 1 of 2 for this Blog. Please be sure to read about Sensei Charles in my next post.....

Meditation can help lower stress levels, thus help improve the quality of life and health. Previously, I wrote about a "Loving Kindness" meditative exercise and today I am writing about the "Subtle Mind" exercise.

The Loving-Kindness meditation practice gradually diminishes self-centeredness, and opens our heart to others, priming our mind for further development, while the Subtle Mind meditation is a basic daily practice that can progress one to the three levels of the subtle mind, which are:

1) The witnessing mind
2) Calm abiding, and
3) Unity consciousness

The subtle mind evolves over time and gives one a stable mind, less reactivity, greater patience and inner calm. The breath is used to obtain a subtle mind, and is used for two reasons: There is direct relationship between the breath and the mind. A peaceful breathing pattern will lead to a peaceful mind. Still the breath and the mind is stilled. Second, the breath is always with us.

Using the breath, one can learn how to tame and stabilize the mind by developing a witnessing consciousness. As witnessing consciousness replaces grasping and clinging, we progressively experience calm abiding and that eventually evolves into unity consciousness.

As you practice the subtle mind meditation, you will feel such a sense of comfort and peace, that you may not want to come back to the present. This is a technique that I was very happy to learn and one that I will utilize any time, especially in times of stress and anxiety. I feel blessed that I know of this technique because there is a limited culturally learned understanding of our body that is linked to our narrow outer view of our mental and spiritual aspects of our biological body. Most people in the United States are currently in that paradigm.

Science, aka: "traditional medicine," arrives at its understandings by reducing the body to its most physical elements. Traditional medicine has the physical facts of our biology mapped out quite well. But there is a connection of spiritual wellness to mental and physical wellness when we stop looking at the body in segments, such as the cardiologist, the gastroenterologist, the gynecologist, or the oncologist would. The profound mystery of life is encoded into our physical nature. (Dacher, E 2006).

Our biology is no longer a problem to be solved but rather a mystery to be lived and explored first-hand. It is in this way that we discover the higher levels of our biology - the mind/body and the spiritual body.

Relax at the Rainbow's End - for your health

Physical well-being involves taking care of the body and that is done through good nutrition, hygiene, and exercise. As a wellness consultant, I have developed a nutrition and exercise program that works well for me to help my body function at optimal level. I watch my simple carbs, eat 5-6 servings of fruits and vegetables daily and always eat a breakfast with protein within one hour of awakening, and I drink ample pure water. I eat very little sugar and I do not use artificial sweeteners. I did smoke for 35 years, but gave that up for good 10 years ago, and I exercise 60-120 minutes per day at least three times per week, and get in at least 30-60 minutes of physical activity other days of the week. I also take quality vitamins, minerals, antioxidants and essential fatty acids. If I had to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10, my physical well-being would be at around an 8. I still like ice cream and other foods that aren’t good for me, and I love my coffee in the morning, but I don’t think I want to give up everything I enjoy, even if it isn’t healthy for me. I just moderate it and eat healthy 95% of the time.

I have always been in touch with my spiritual side, but my ability to tap into it ebbs and flows at times when I am in a hectic cycle. My goal is to be able to tap into my spiritual side at any time, where ever I am, and no matter what circumstance I am in so that I will be able to reach my goals and handle stressers in the best possible way. On a scale of 1 to 10, my spiritual side is probably at a 7.

Psychologically, I like to look at the world through a set of rose colored glasses and always see the glass as half full, and it frustrates, saddens and bores me when I am around negative people. Negative people drain my energy. My goal is to strengthen my inner resources so that when I am around those who are negative, I am able to persuade them to at least consider letting go of their negative insight and looking at the situation from another angle. On the other hand, I try to be around only those that are like-minded and uplifting. When I was a teenager, almost 40 years ago, I was content to be alone for I knew of no one that thought as I did. I wasn’t lonely, I was self-made. I was accused of being aloof, but my mother saw me for who I was, and said that I was “shy.” On a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate myself psychologically around a 7.

One activity or exercise that I have implemented in my life to assist in moving me toward my goal to help make this world a better place is meditation. Letting go of the “chatter” that goes on in the mind, and letting go of worry and the ego is necessary to allow a more calm and peaceful existence in that will allow healing to begin. There are many ways to meditate, but my favorites include listening to a CD of someone with a calm voice taking me through the relaxation steps. Often that calm voice is accompanied by the sound of waves at the beach and other sounds of nature. One of my favorite exercises is the Rainbow Meditation.

If you would like to go to a different level, you know - have "Scotty beam you up," then go ahead and click here to complete the Rainbow Meditation relaxation exercise I am talking about.

It is said that the rainbow is a sign from God of renewed hope. I can tell you, when you go within and draw from your inner resources instead of rely on external sources, you will feel renewed. Go ahead and click here. Below is a condensed transcript of the meditation………

Rainbow Meditation –

Start out by breathing in and out, the relaxation is the best part of breathing. As I take a nice slow deep breath, I imagine that my body is a beam of light, and as light goes through my body, it is a prism and seven colors separate out. There are seven colors in a rainbow, and these are the colors that are generated through my body now.

I now focus on seven different body regions, one for each color of the rainbow. With each body region and with each color, there is a meditative thought.

I am grounded by a red light that emanates from the base of my spine. From this area is a small window and deep rich red comes from this window. This beam of light shoots down past my feet. I feel safe, comfortable and secure in my environment. I can sway in the wind but still feel stable and I am grounded to the earth. As I exhale, I say, “I feel grounded.”

From my lower stomach a bright orange comes out of my body; this symbolizes the feeling of being centered. To feel centered means to feel very confident and self worthy. As I take my next deep breath, I say, “I feel centered.”

Above that from my stomach is an intense bright yellow, which shoots out from in front of me symbolizing the feeling of love from people and from my environment. I think, “I feel loved,” as I take my next deep breath.

As I move my awareness to my upper chest from above my heart, there emerges an emerald green color, which parallels the yellow and orange colors. The heart is symbolic of the ability “to love.” To love means to share any positive feelings with anyone I choose. I think to send a positive thought to say hello and to wish someone good luck. I think that I have the ability to share love, and I think to myself as I breathe deeply, “I choose to love.”

Now I come to my throat area. There is a small circular shaped window that begins to emit a beautiful aqua blue from my throat. A light projects out from here and is parallel with the orange, yellow and green beams of light. This color aqua blue and this region, my throat, represents my ability to feel I have a meaningful purpose in my life, willpower and creativity. As I use my willpower and creativity, I begin to accomplish those things which have meaning in my life. I take a moment to think of a goal, whether it is just for today, or a life goal, and I see this image of aqua blue light and I think that I have the ability to accomplish that goal. As I take a deep breath, I think, “my life has a meaningful purpose.”

My awareness now comes to my forehead, right above my nose, between my eyes. A very rich, deep Indigo blue comes from my forehead. This color and body region of my forehead is symbolic of finding balance within myself. My sense of balance comes from the right and left brain functions being used together, as well as tapping into the conscious and unconscious mind to find balance there as well. My sense of balance also comes from the ability to tap into my body wisdom. I think, “I feel balanced,” as I exhale.

Now, I go to the crown of my head. There is a big circular shaped window. From this window comes the color violet. This beam of light projects off the top of my head, and this color and body region is symbolic of feeling connected to a bigger part of the universe. I think how good I feel inside when I feel connected with friends and family, with nature, and with the universe. I am not alone, and I am very much at peace. As I exhale, I say, “I feel connected.”

These seven colors of the rainbow separate out when light hits a prism. Now, I bring these colors all together and I am now surrounded by a brilliant white light. As my body becomes surrounded by this white light, I think how calm and relaxed my body is. I take one more deep breath, and I think, “my body is calm and relaxed.”

This is locked into my memory banks and when I am stressed or nervous, I can bring this back into my life. This restores me and calms me. I don’t feel tired or sleepy or fatigue. I feel energized. I have found the proverbial pot of gold at the rainbow’s end……..